caN'T sleEp ..

oKaY i wanNa touCh uP oN a feW thIngs .... tHis fOr suRe wilL b oNe oF tHeE bLogS ThaT iS nOt eDiTeD ThiS tiMe buT haVe pieCes aDdeD tO iT cuZ i kNOw i'M noT gonNa geT iT alL oUt aT oNcE ... i meaN whO wouLd whN u geT a phOne calL fRoM uR bFf saYiNg iT's tHru ... nO exPlaiNaTioN ... jusT a calL wiT a dUratioN oF 5:20 secoNds LoL bTw R.I.P tO tHeE fRieNdshIp ThaT's [beEn] fOr soMe yeaRs NoW ThaT enDeD iM guesSiN 6/22/2009 ???!!!! YaH soMeThiN liKe ThaT .... i woUld posT piX buT i dNt neEd tO dO alL daT gUshY sTufF ... beSidEs iT's uNnecEsSarY ... welL fOr ThiS oNe aTleaSt !!!!!!!!!!!

aNd iT's jusT fOr mE tO seE ... i'M a s priVaTe peRsoN i tHinK whN iT realLy coMeS tO mY peRsoNaL liFe buT i realLy ThiNk ThaT iT wouLd b iNteResTiNg tO posT ThiS fOr TheE whoLe worLd tO seE ... buT i woNt leT goOgle haVe iT yeT LoL aLtHouGh ThE asKeD fOr iT ... buT i oNlY saId nO tO prOtecT a LoT ... cuZ waiT ..

ThaT's hOw mucH i caReD ... i sTilL dO!!!!! buT ...

i RealLy wanNa wRiTe a HuGe seRieS oF eVeNts ThaT haVe ocCurED wiThiN THe pasT yeaR anD sTarT froM eVerYtHiNg waY beForE tHaT as welL sO The wOrLd caN geT a betTeR uNdeRsTaNdiNg ... oF eVerYtHiNg ... i aLwaYS waNteD tO wRitE a boOk buT u kNow ME; i geT uPseT aNd oCd kicKs iN whN i leaVe soMeThiNg oUt and i'D haVE tO b suPeR deTaiLed .... TheRe's nO waY aroUnd ThaT...i tHInK iT maY b preTty iNtEresTiNg ThO .. wiTh The tRutH tHe whOle tRutH aNd noThiNg buT tHeE tRuTh .... leT mE saY oNe ThiNg beForE i gO oN ... aNyThiNg i haVe eVer saId iN mY bLoGs waS nOthiNg buT tHeE tRuTh .. THe oNlY liE i tOld iN n E oF THeM waS ThaT i leFt a LoT ouT [ tHaT beiNg; tHe tRutH] ...reGarDlesS oF waT iT waS ... i gaVe tHe tRutH ThaT i diDnt miNd sHaRiNg buT leFt a LoT oF TheE tRuTh ouT .... N E whO ... i'M sO nOt ReadY tO wRitE a boOk riTe nOw cuZ ThaT wouLd sO reQuiRe mE tO puT a LoT oF mY liFe aND caReEr oN hoLd .....rigHt nOw iM jusT goiNg wiTh tHeE fLow Nd iF aNyTHiNg iT wouLd [sTarT] rigHt heRe oN TaY-aTtyTuDe bLaH bLaH bLaH!!!!!!!!!

i wanNa saY sOmeThiNg ... i diD soMeTHiNg a wHiLe baCk ... aND The oNlY ReasOn i diD iT waS a beCaUse iT waS arouNd a tiMe whN mY bfF waS doNe beiNg mY frieNd aNd i eNdeD uP haViNg a guiLtY conScieNce aBouT soMeThiNg ThaT i diDnt saY buT meNtioNeD soMeThiNg eLSe iNsTeaD cuZ i foRgoT aBout iT aNd ThiS oNe parT sTucK wiT mE whN iT realLy sHouLd oF beEn thEe oPposiTe ... iT woulD oF beEn worSe ThN waT waS saiD [seRioUsLy] sO i'M gLaD iT waSN'T ... N e wHo buT i feLt guiLtY aBouT soMeThiNg ... bacK tO waT i waS saYiNg The frieNDhiP waS doNe buT i dnT kNow waT hapPeNEd ... wE jusT sTrugGleD a biT fRoM TheRe aND tHeRe waS uNfiNisHeD buSinesS ... aLtHoUgh iTs doNE "nOw" ... i stilL feEl liKe TheRe iS a proBleM ThaT haSn'T beEn sOlvEd whN waT 2 weEks aGo wE saT iN TheE caR fOr hoUrs taLkiN aBouT hOw wE wouLD coMproMisE aNd a weEk oR twO beForE wE teXteD aBouT hoW wE sHouLdn'T waLk awaY oR ruN froM a siTuaTioN esPeCialLy wiTh uR bfF ... sO ThaT weNt oUt tHe wiNdOw ... i felL baCk oN mY worDs aND sO diD ThaT peRsoN oBvioUslY cuZ loOk aT uS nOw ....oKaY iM dRiftiNg leT mE geT baCk tO waT i waS saYiNg ...

waT hapPeNeD waS ... TheRe waS a liE ThaT waS toLd whN aSkeD a quesTioN .. oH iN whIcH iM paYiNg foR cuZ theE perSoN waS TheE oNe whO lieD .. noT mE ... buT waT i diD iS beiN uSeD aGaiNst mE u kNOw jusT leaNiN oN a raGgeDy oL cRutcH [Me] HaHa cuZ oF waT i diD tO theE besTiE ... welL suPposEd eX besTiE thN aNd waiT .. NoW!!!!!

tHe reaSoN y i diD waT i diD waS beCaUse ... waiT ... i haD nOtHiNg aT aLl aGaiNsT tHeE oTheR peRsoN sO noW eReytHiNg haS beEn cReaTeD tO wHeRe wE aRe kiNda forCeD welL werE forCeD tO diSliKe eachoTheR wiTh a passSioN .. i woNt uSe haTe cuZ ThaTS sucH a sTroNg worD aND i dnt haTE aNyone ... NeVeR !!!!!

buT yaH tHeE eX besTiE TriEs veRy haRd ... weLl diD tO keEp uS awaY fROm eachoTheR tiL ThiS daY ...welL 2 daYs aGo ... i aBsoLuTelY woNt saY y rigHt nOw ????????????????????????????!!!!! n E fKng whO ... fK i aLwaYs gotTa exPlaiN aNd caN neVeR geT tO tHeE [teEnY] asS poiNt oF coNfusIoN i'M tRyiNg tO fRicKiN maKe !!!!!!!

i diD waT i diD beCauSe i feLt sOoOoo baD iNsiDe aND siNce iT waS doNe .. TheRe waS oNe lasT ThiNg i haD tO geT ofF mY chesT ... helL i diDnT eveN telL TheE whoLe beGiNniNg oF alL tHis laSt suMmeR sTufF tO ThE peRsoN sO ThaT peRsoN caN uNdeRsTanD mE betTer ... aNd kNow waT waS ... NoT waLkeD iNtO buT uSed aS a guInea piG ??? i dunNo .... loOkiNg aT iT iN a bonNie aND cLydes sYsTeM oF tRuE cRimeS wiT theE riDe oR diE ...

fKkKk N e wHo ... bacK tO mY frieNdsHiP .. iT waS doNe aND i waS guiLtY abOuT thiNgs aNd eVeN asKeD The peRsoN noT tO taKe iT ouT oN n E oNe oR chaNge feeliNgs oR waT haVe u cuZ ThaT peRsoN meaNt goOD .... welL aSk mE iF ThaT perSoN doeS nOw ??? hMmm i woNt aNsweR cuZ i dNt fKnG kNow N e mOre ... oK hoNesTlY kiNda buT nOT rEalLy ...buT u kNow ... foRgeT iT .... i caN seE iF i waS liKe BAM TheRe iT iS aND yaH moThaFkKaaa buT tHaT waSNt mY iNtenTion oBvioUslY cuZ i saiD iT waS soMeThiNg i neEdeD tO geT ofF mY chesT aNd asKeD oF ThaT peRosN waT i aSkeD ...

NoW .. RealLy waT i'Ve beEN tRyiNg tO saY...

i haVe beEn THiNkiNg ... iT's supPposE tO b doNe nOw ... iT iS .. helL i kNow iT ...mY OCD iS kicKiNg iN haRdcoRe aND i feEl liKe TheRe's mOrE sHyT tO coMe cLeaN aBouT[beYoNd] moRe shYt .... sO i caN leT iT b doNe anD geT sHyT ofF mY cHesT ... nOw i kNow fOr sUrE ThaT iT wilL aBsoLuTeLy noT b a RePeaT oF beFoRe ... cuZ welL i wilL saY waT i haVe tO saY anD theE eX besTie welL woNt caRE ... iF N e ThiNg iTs beEn doNe beForE wheRe pPl "usE alL TheY goT tO keEp waT TheY haVe " ThaTs baD cuZ ThaT wouLd b lying aND oNlY diGgiNg a bigGeR whOle ThaN beForE .... wHIcH haS beEN goiNg oN fOr a VERY LONG whiLe nOw y haVe iT beEn doNe welL ... cuZ ThaT peRson saiD iT's waSnT iN a PlaN tO saY shYt fRoM beFoRe nD nOw... maKes mE woNdeR waS n e tHiNg gonNa b saID beForE whN i firsT saiD soMeTHinNg aNd i aLWaYS saiD aNd tO ThiS daY ThaT iF ThaT perSon loVEs u ... iT sHouLdN'T maTteR nD iT woNt ... i meaN loOk nOw ... ThaT oTheR persoN iS sTill iN ThE piX ... i [kNOw] :: exaCtlY:: wHy... iT goeS wiT theE quoTe iM getTiNg readY tO sTaTe ...waiT i aLreaDy diD ... uP ThuRe iN qUoTaTioNs... N E waYs buT heY iT iS waT iT iS ... ThaTs hoW THeE persOn waNtEd it ... n e waYS aND i stilL feEl ThaT iT shOulDn'T nD iT woN't.... ThaTs pRolLy y i dNt caRe rigHt nOw ... nD ThaTs y i waNna dO a seRieS rigHt nOw whIcH wilL taKe ... FoReVeR aNd 10 yRs eSpecialLy hOw i eXplaiN deTaiL tO deTaiL ... helL i feEl cLeaN aLreaDy LmAo ....

I DnT KnoW WHErE tO sTarT ... i tHiNk i dO buT i haTe whN i sTarT soMeThiNg aND fORgeT sOmeThiNg beForE daT lmMfaO .... i meaN i dO haVe a pHoToGrapHic MeMoRy aND aN oK oNe aT ThaT .... i dunNo ThiNkiNg rigHt nOW iS maKiNg mE a biT tiReD .... i beEN uP siNce 11:58 p.M aND beFo daT i felL asLeEp fOr 2 hOurS ... maYbe i shOuLd sTaRt a fResH oNe [bLoG] anD maYbe leT goOgLe haVE iT .... fRicK iM falLiN aSleEp mOFo .... nD iT's getTiN ligHt oUtsiDe 05:43 a.M.

RealLy THiS tiMe ...

tO bE coNtiNueD !!!!!!!!